Never Fear. Open Your Beer

By Keith on May 31, 2007 in Odd

Ever been stuck at, I mean enjoying, a family reunion
and needed a bottle opener?
Never fret again.
Your little Hundai can double as a beer opener.

You can also try a riskier, although, entertaining move.

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In this battle that goes on through life, I ask for a field that is fair. With a chance that is equal to all in the strife, and the courage to do and to dare. If I should win, let it be by the code, with my faith and my honor held high. If I should lose, let me stand by the road, and cheer as the winners go by.

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look4keith: Cee Lo is the drunk uncle who wanders into the family talent show.He keeps singing; everyone avoids eye contact & hopes he passes out soon. February 6, 2012
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Past Posts

X-Men: First Class Trailer

Estro-Maxx

American Version of “Being Human?!”

Don’t Ask, Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out

I Will Be Heard!

I. Love. Michael. Buble

Anonymous Prayer

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Jesus's Underground Bootleg Business: The Lost Years
Rachel Ray's Cooking with Fiberglass
Holy Smokes: The Pope's 10 Favorite Cigarettes
20 Ways to Spice Up Your Talibani Wardrobe ~by Tyra Banks
How I Became a Pimp in Less Than 30 Days...and You Can Too
Harvard for Dummies
How to Bang Your Teacher
Bill O'Reilly's Secret to Cheering Up People
Politics: The Road to Heaven
Sibling Hookups: It Worked in Biblical Times, It Still Works Now
Paris Hilton's Guide to Working Your Way Up the Corporate Ladder
46 Ways to Kill Your Siblings and Get Away With It
Why Daddy Wants to Run Away
Mommy's Favorite Positions
Getting a Leg Up (The Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Successful Streetwalker)
How to Make a Dress for Little Brother

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me & lazy landlords
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dog tongues & people's lips
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urine & my carpet
corneas & fingernails
buttermilk & pickle juice
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W & USA
fried bologne & motor oil
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The only difference between where you are today, and where you'll be a year from today, are the books you read and the people you meet. ~Charlie ‘Tremendous’ Jones
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great. ~Mark Twain
When all you have is a hammer, all problems start to look like nails. ~Mark Twain
Thinkers think and doers do. But until the thinkers do and the doers think, progress will be just another word in the already overburdened vocabulary of the talkers who talk.
A dream that you don’t fight for can haunt you for the rest of your life ~from the movie, Robots
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ~Lily Tomlin
The greatness of America lies not in being more enlightened than any other nation, but rather in her ability to repair her faults. ~Alexis de Tocqueville
Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities. ~Frank Lloyd Wright
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. ~Robert Frost
You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take ~ Wayne Gretsky
If I know what love is, it is because of you. ~Hermann Hesse
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Knowledge itself is power. ~ Sir Frances Bacon
Imagination is more important than knowledge. ~ Albert Einstein
If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you. ~George Bernard Shaw
Patience is the companion of wisdom. ~St. Augustine
Diligence is a very great help even to a mediocre intelligence. ~Seneca
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~George Bernard Shaw
Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one. ~E.B. White
The greatest tragedy of the average man is that he goes to his grave with his music still in him. ~ Longfellow
Any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day. ~Booker T. Washington
One of the more ironic elements of American policy is often what we try to suppress is the very thing that in another generation may save our existence. ~Dr. Edwin Wade
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. ~ Josh Billings
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle ~ Plato
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. ~ Mark Twain
The world is full of suffering, but it is also full of the overcoming of it. ~ Helen Keller
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. ~Abraham Lincoln
He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop. ~Sydney Smith
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. ~ Margaret Mead
The greatest skill in war is to defeat one’s enemy without firing a shot.. ~ Sun Tzu
Eighty percent of success is just showing up ~ Woody Allen
Artists tell lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up. ~ Evey Hammond (in V for Vendetta)
We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails. ~Unknown

Yeah But Still

Never Fear. Open Your Beer

Random Quote

Life’s Prayer

Wish List

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Twitter Updates

Past Posts

Songs for My Eventual Funeral

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Book Titles that Didn’t Make It

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Great Quotes