We thought, “Great name, great idea. We’re sold.”

Brian showed up early for the show on Saturday morning
- while I punched the clock for a self-defeating *@^!- but none of the
Depot employees knew about the class.
Classic.

Apparently, the employees didn’t read the writing on the wall….
literally, they didn’t read the painted advertisement on their own front window or they would have known
about the seminar. In this case, it was a seminaren’t.

After Brian pointed out the information to them, they admitted they were unprepared.
An employee was kind enough to take Brian on a tour of the store – as if he needed a clueless guide to show
him their shiny door knobs – for a half-hour.

This got me thinking. I could create some classes of my own, and as long as someone doesn’t show up for the seminars, I can claim expertise in just about any subject, add myself to the Highland Park cognoscente,
and publicize my brilliance.

With that in mind, I am tossing around a few topics.

“How to Distract & Disarm a Suicide Bomber with
Pink Balloons and Sweet Talk”
“You, Too, Can Fly like an Eagle”
“Fun Ways to Eat Glass”
“The Easy Way to Walk Barefoot Across the Desert”
“Stop Bullets with Your Teeth”
“Find Your Inner Bully”
“How to Build a Nuclear Bomb with Tacky Tape”
“Robbing Banks: It’s Not Just Fun, It’s Profitable”
“Hack into the Pentagon”
“Spank Stupid Parents, Not Kids”